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Day 17: My favorite memory

but...
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Oh, I have a lot of these. Sadly, they aren't well-indexed by that category, so it's hard to come up with one on demand. It's like "tell me a joke!"

One that comes to mind dates from shortly after I regained coherency, after my stroke, and involves eating a container of canned pineapple chunks.

I can't actually remember what they tasted like. But I can remember my emotional experience of eating them... they were the most amazing thing I'd ever consumed or ever imagined consuming; the very taste of them brought me tears of joy.

Sadly, I lost the ability to take such joy in simple pleasures shortly thereafter.

Comments

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lillibet
Oct. 25th, 2010 09:16 pm (UTC)
What are your thoughts about what prevents you from experiencing things that way?
dpolicar
Oct. 25th, 2010 10:11 pm (UTC)
Well, to that extreme, I think just because I have a human nervous systems and human nervous systems callibrate... basically the same reason that I wasn't in profound agony all the time, the same reason I stop noticing holes in my socks, the same reason I don't see a network of blood vessels overlaying everything in the world.

Approaching the question more broadly -- that is, asking why I'm not particularly good at enjoying "simple joys" -- I think it has a lot to do with being present with the current experience, without entangling it with fears and expectations and hopes and memories. I'm not particularly good at that, though it happens more often than it used to.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )